Know Your Worth.

Valuing yourself can be one of the best things to do in order to make yourself feel good, to recognise your strengths and to help you realise and rationalise your place in the world.

It may be hard in these times to consider your actual value. With the importance of everybody's individual roles to society having quite rightly been thrust into the spotlight, many people doing jobs that we used to take for granted are now shown for just how important they actually are. Though, It might make you feel that your contributions are not as important, or you might feel undervalued because you think you aren't doing things that are as important as others.

Once we emerge from this madness, it is my hope that everyone is recognised for the contributions they make to real life. Regardless of their job, function or role, and we continue to big each other up and support each other to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be.

Why?

 Regardless of what you do... You are normality. You are a key part of EVERYONE maintaining a normal life, And while it is wonderful that EVERYONE's true worth is being recognised, you should never underestimate your own worth. Everyone has a part to play in allowing people to live a normal comfortable life, the type of life up until now we'd become accustomed to.

But please remember,

You've been immensely important before this, and you'll absolutely be even more important after this. Even if just now you are feeling a bit overwhelmed or even devalued.  With more people than ever contributing to getting us through this, although we shouldn't be seeking gratification, its undeniable that you might feel that you're just going through the motions and your contributions are not as important as they used to be.

 Quick points:

1. Keep positive. Know your worth, Regardless of what you do. One way or another, knowing your contribution no matter how minor it may seem to you. The tiniest of things can have the largest of effects on someone's life and YOU are responsible for that. 
2. Knowing your worth to others as well as your own is great for your mental health BUT is also important for your family. The way they value your contributions through this crisis will be doing wonders for them. While they may worry, take comfort in knowing that deep down, knowing that you are keeping things are normal for them and others will be of comfort and a great mental curer. So have those conversations. Discuss what you're doing and how their support helps you. Also, encourage them. Let them know how THEIR contributions have helped you get through this. Bigging each other up no matter how trivial it may seem is always good for a welcome boost.

It is important to note however that sometimes, we just need to be content with ourselves and who we are at that time. Never mind digging too deep, but rather recognise that you are just who you are. Being comfortable in ones skin and whatever your place in this world. There's always a quality that makes you, you.

There's a nice inspirational quote I'd like to finish with. It goes like this:

"When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder...
I am green and it'll do fine
It's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be".

Those wise words spoken by Kermit The Frog. Be proud of what you are and who you are. Always.

 

Darren Miller

 

 

If we agree that compassionate leadership is a ‘good’ thing, and I suspect we do, who is responsible for making it happen?

 

It’s easy to complain about the organisations we work in. We all do it. It might even be productive sometimes, but there is something interesting about complaining about our workplaces. Usually, when we are complaining, we are delegating responsibility for changing things for the better to others. Usually, in our view, we delegate responsibility for changing things to others who are managing us and who, as far as we can see, seem incapable of grasping obvious solutions. Complaining is easy but I wonder if it often has to do with our own view of what it means to be a manager and a leader.

 

Now, the science of management is an interesting field.  I’ve spent some time over a long career in the NHS thinking about management, being managed, managing large teams, and teaching management theory. I’ve also spent some time thinking about leadership. Here is some of what I’ve learned.

 

 There are over a thousand definitions of management. These definitions depend on theoretical perspectives with economists considering management as a resource, bureaucrats viewing management as a system of authority to achieve goals, and sociologists thinking of managers as the social elite.   There is some agreement that management can be defined across functions: planning, organizing, actuating and controlling. However, whatever the theoretical slant, traditional conceptualisations of management tend to view the ‘functions’ of management and the ‘role’ of management in much the same way. A designated individual (or, perhaps, groups of individuals) in an organisation undertake certain functions to control and deliver desired goals for that organisation with a workforce. In this traditional position, the role of ‘manager’ and ‘leader’ are seen as the same thing: managers lead, usually exclusively.

 

Contemporary theorists have begun to separate the concepts of management and leadership. Unlike management, which is a designated function, contemporary thinkers suggest that leadership has nothing to do with seniority or hierarchal position in an organisation.  Leadership and a pay grade are not necessarily the same thing. Further, the capacity to offer leadership to an organisation is not dependent on a formal title. Increasingly, theorists in management science are beginning to suggest that leadership is a process associated with social influence, which can maximize the efforts of other people toward a shared goal. Understanding leadership in this way has to do with recognising that every member of the team has skills and experiences that are not necessarily common to all and that these individual skills and experiences can be of major benefit to the team.

 

From this definition, leadership has to do with our influence on others and not authority or power, and although this view of leadership indicates that leaders need others to lead, those ‘others’ do not necessarily need to be direct reports. There are many roads to effective leadership and this definition argues that maximizing the efforts of others toward a goal is crucial. From this perspective, any member of a team can be a leader, and over time, in effective teams, leadership can be shared among team members, depending on particular interests and strengths. Pushed to a logical conclusion, this kind of shared leadership responsibility leads to the development of self-managed teams. Managers need to co-ordinate these leadership skills but they do not hold a monopoly on leadership.

 

So, what does this mean? It means that each of us has a responsibility in a team to work effectively toward whatever the team goal is. Importantly, though, each of us has a potential leadership function. Any one of us, can, depending on circumstances, offer leadership to the team. If we look at compassion as a desired value, all of us have a potential leadership role to play in ensuring that value is enacted in our team. How do I treat clients? How do I treat colleagues? Am I compassionate in my behaviours and am I leading others toward maximizing their own compassionate selves?  Can I lead by example? We have all worked with someone who was inspiring, not necessarily in what they had to say, but in what they did. Any one of us can be that person, that leader.

 

If we agree that compassionate leadership is a ‘good’ thing, who is responsible for making it happen? All of us, I guess.

 

 

Rev Dr Michael Killoran Ross

Chaplain - SAS

One of the biggest challenges that people have faced through this crisis is adapting to "the new normal". The term Social distancing is a term which has leaped into our regular vocabulary, where as before there was the equivalent of around 2 meters between the two words being used together.

 

The term "New Normal" in itself is something which can and will have an affect on your mental wellbeing. This is understandable. It is the fact that it feels like your freedom is restricted from what has been before.  When you used to be able to just run into a supermarket when you had an urge for a donut, and complete this transaction in seconds, it is now a carefully stage managed process. It almost feels as if you're trying to reach the holy grail, and not just a holey baked good. I have some fears of how this might progress, but for now I try and make light of it...

 

There are lines on the ground. Carefully managing where you can stand and walk. To be honest, I turn this into a little game. It's like being Super Mario. slowly advancing around the "levels" which are the aisles of the supermarket. Hoping that there are no obstacles in the way to stop you advancing from the turmoil of the ketchup aisle and allowing you to move to the excitement of world foods.  But alas! There's someone in the box just in front of you. What do you do. They are standing, perusing the soup. When you really need into that shelf. As they stand and consider their purchase for longer and longer. You slowly advance towards the shelf. You're in THEIR BOX! They turn. You look at each other. Then. It's time. The awkward side shuffle and apology. You pick up your tin and you advance onto the next box, you've achieved success. You leave the Soup-peruser in their little box as they continue to consider what a mulligatawny actually is.

 

Although the new way of shopping in little segregated boxes seems like we are being told "Positions, and action" almost as if we're in the latest poorly written BBC Soap (I mean, who'd want to take part on this storyline!) it is refreshing to see people turn and apologise if they're taking up a space that you need to move into.

 

That said however, my big fear is that when this is over that that the term "Social Distancing" becomes a defence mechanism for people who want to try and keep people away from them. It becomes a way for people to mask being rude, ignorant and simply obnoxious. I hope I've made this clear what I'm saying, but, I honestly could see people barking "Social Distancing" if you're standing in a queue and they perceive you being too close to them. That is one of my biggest anxiety worries. Don't get me wrong, I like to think of myself as quite confident, outgoing and can handle people well, but I honestly do fear for the future of social interactions between people once this all passes.

 

Will we permanently socially distance ourselves? Are we breeding a generation of people that will be increasingly socially awkward? Will my ability to be outgoing and pleasant towards people be seen negatively? If you're like me this too will be something which might adversely affect your mental wellbeing.

 

Along with this, there is the growing fear of not knowing how things that just can't be socially distanced are actually going to work.  Are the holidays you used to enjoy going to be hampered by a reluctance to be near to other people? Or even over enforced social distancing measures.

 

I love theme parks. Orlando is one of my favourite places in the world, but in my heart of hearts I cannot see how the experience of the big places over there owes itself to a socially distant future. How can I hug a minion from 2 meters away? I need my minion hugs.

 

What about beach holidays? It's all very well distancing yourself from others on the beach, many do it already! But, are you to tread carefully as you frolic in the sea? Can you yell "Social Distancing" to the waves as they lap you closer and closer to another family bobbing about on their inflatable flamingo?

 

These concerns are totally normal to feel anxious about. We are constantly told that "life as we know it will change".  For me, this is a dangerous statement. It's a statement that is open ended and ambiguous. Granted, we can't tell how things are going to go, but for someone with anxiety issues, it only throws fuel on the uncertainty fire. 

 

What I'm saying is, while we don't know whats around the corner. This uncertainty is temporary. One day all this will sort itself out, and we'll look back on it and take positives on how we all got through it.  The things that were uncertain about the things that we liked to do will be certain. We'll return to a new life with a degree of caution. (Note I didn't say that we will be alert....;) )  As long as we all remember to be kind to each other, to support each other and to recognise the challenges we've all been through, and recognise how apprehensive some may be to return to "normal" after this, we'll all end up mentally healthier for it.

 

I've focused a lot on personal feeling of anxiety and uncertainty, but to bounce right back to a work focus, The job we do - it's incredibly hard to maintain social distancing. Whether you're in ACC at a desk, or scooting about the country in a frontline A&E vehicle or a PTV.  While we can try some fixes for little things, and this is great and goes some way to keeping us and our families safe,  one thing to ensure we still have is a support network point of view.

 

Don't let a perspex barrier or a distant desk be a barrier to you getting support if you need it or are struggling. Don't let the fact you have to sit separate to your colleagues on your breaks stop you discussing issues. Social distancing IS going to be one of the biggest threats to mental well being as we progress through this. It's a necessary evil. While we need to do it for our physical health, the detriment to our mental health is a very real problem.  So I'd like to close with these thoughts.

 

While there are measures (barriers if you will) being put in place to help protect our physical health, lets do the reverse and break down the barriers to our mental health and wellbeing.

 

1. Make a point of talking to colleagues. As hard as it may seem some times, try to maintain that personal contact with your colleagues. It goes a long way to normalising what is a troubling and challenging situation. Whether you've attended a call which was particularly harrowing, or you've been speaking to a patient that shook you. Take the chance to turn to a colleague and talk to them. The importance of our mental health in these times cannot be underestimated, and in truth, if our mental health declines, the effects on our physical health can be catastrophic.
2. Try not to worry about the future. It's easier said than done, but what lies in the future is unknown for us all. Lets ride out this storm together, but, it's not unreasonable to talk about your concerns. Discussing how you feel about the future is normal and right. Getting to know how others feel can help downplay your fears, and can go a long way to supporting each other.
3.  Recognise if your colleagues are struggling or shutting off. I guess this is particularly relevant to office based or control based people who are sitting largely segregated when they didn't before. If your colleague is appearing distant, is deliberately sitting away and shutting off, there could be a reason for it. There might not be.  Isolation can work both ways. For some it's one of the best ways to cope, but for many it can fuel feelings of anxiety, depression and loneliness, but don’t be afraid to ask. 
4. And finally, remember, we're all in this together. Social distancing should NOT be a barrier to us looking out for each other. It shouldn't become a weapon or a tool to shut off or push people away. If you see people being increasingly distant, remind them of the importance of the word "social". Be social. Be together. Support each other.  Things will get better, but only if we support each other. Otherwise, once the physical pandemic dissipates, we will be in the midst of a mental health pandemic, and that could be one of the worst of all.

 

"Social" is defined as "needing companionship and therefore best suited to living in communities" or "relating to or designed for activities in which people meet each other for pleasure.". But the most powerful definition according to the dictionary is this:

 

"living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation "

 

That in itself is powerful. Social distancing is harbouring isolation, when the word "social" in itself encourages quite the opposite.  

So, let’s not isolate from others. Safely look out for each other. Keeping open is the best thing we can do... even if it is from 2 metres.

Darren Miller